Han Qiang and He Miao Get Married

He Miao was a music major at Northeast Normal University. Han Qiang works in a exporting company and has traveled all over the Middle East. Today they are getting married. Unlike the couple at the mosque a few days before, these two aren't nervous. I suspect it's because they've already been technically married for a while now. Today is the performance, so to speak.

 

 

 

The grand set-up

 

 

The mystical, metallic isle

 

 

Guests of the groom (pink tie in background). DA3 and his co-workers chat.

 

Lights, music, action! The bride plays the Erhu and then she and the groom sing a duet. They walk from opposite sides of the room to the gazebo in the center. They stand underneath to finish the song. He then asks her to marry him, giving her a bouquet. They walk down the isle together. The MC gives a short speech. He speaks on being there for each other and growing old together. He then pronounces them husband and wife. They hug and kiss on the cheeks. 

 

Xin niang (bride) and her Erhu

 

 

The couple sings a duet

 

 

Under the gazebo

 

 

"Will you marry me?"

 

Before the couple is allowed to be presented to the guests, it is an Asian tradition to kowtow to the parents. Both mothers and fathers are brought to the stage. They stand shoulder to shoulder, looking stately and distant. From my seat in the back I have to stand to get a good view. As the couple kowtows, I suddenly tear up. All the lights and the slide show, all of the decorations and the banquet are just parts of a single moment in an average life. The couple's honorable bow to their life-givers, however, is something different altogether. This is the grand scheme. This is the point of it all. This is life.

 

 

The new couple

 

The guests are getting hungry, but there are no chopsticks. The couple leaves back through the gazebo and it all ends abruptly. As the waiters hand out chopsticks and we're allowed to eat, the waitresses start to pack up the isle. Unfortunately, although the tables are piled high with dishes, only a few of them are really tasty. People eat and leave, no relaxing conversation or entertainment. Then again, I guess that was the point of the ceremony.

A Wedding in Red

Today I attended the wedding of DA3's friend, ABD. His bride's name we'll call Y--. She's from Russia and ABD is from Quatar by way of Lebanon. It was a short, sweet ceremony held at one of Changchun's mosques. The bride wore traditional Chinese Red, and as you can see from the pictures below, a traditional (Chinese) Muslim gown. An imam married them and gave them an "official" document encased in a pretty booklet. I quote 'official' simply because, while it's totally legal in China as far as Muslim weddings go, who knows what will happen if visas are ever questioned or if it's taken abroad. Such is the risk of a wedding outside one's own country, perhaps? The couple, pale, agitated, and nervous before the ceremony, looked much more relaxed afterwards. After the signing ceremony the imam had another appointment, but the rest of us visited and had cake. I helped the bride cut the cake. It amused me when she said, probably for the first time, "Which one is for my husband?" 

 

 

 

 

Y-- and her friend

 

 

 

Y-- and ABD cut the cake

 

 

The groom feeds the bride

Two Firsts

After living in China for a few years, my to-do list is getting more difficult to check off. The easy stuff is done, but there are still a lot of bigger items that I have yet to accomplish. To name a few from my list: Someday I'd like to visit Tibet and China's western provinces. I've never driven a car in China (or abroad in general--not that China's the best place to start, I suppose).  I've always wanted to go camping in some remote Chinese mountain, or perhaps on the Great Wall. I've also never attended a Chinese wedding.

That last one, actually, seems to be one I will have to check off part by part. Just recently I attended my good friend's Beijing wedding banquet. They had had the ceremony itself in the groom's home province in the south. In Beijing they organized a banquet for the bride's family and friends. Fittingly, all us northerners were invited to a well-known Peking Duck restaurant for a very delicious dinner in honor of the newlyweds. After wedding banquet--I can check that one off!

Then I got hired for this performing job. They asked me to sing a couple of English songs at a wedding. I've been trying to get my foot in the door on this front for a while now and this wedding was my first gig.

We arrive early in the morning to a country-club-like location outside Changchun. A young Russian guy and I are both set to sing three songs. We chat on the way to the wedding hall and both decide that we've seen each other before. At the wedding hall we wait for about thirty minutes as they prepare to start the ceremony. 

This place is where couples go to order a "pre-fabricated" wedding. There are "sets" that they can choose from, including the color scheme, photography, decorations, mood, and more. Surprisingly, I find it all mostly tasteful. A set costs about 30,000 RMB or about 5,000 USD. This is on the lower end. The most expensive at this particular place runs at 150,000 RMB. Of course, the sets don't include the banquet afterward or all the alcohol and cigarettes that are a must at Chinese weddings. With everything included, I'm sure that today's couple spent close to 50,000 RMB.

The wedding begins with the MC welcoming everyone and then introducing the two foreigners who will perform. I'm up! I stand under the arch at the end of the flower-strewn walkway. I sing Norah Jones' Don't Know Why (I know, not a typical wedding song in English speaking countries). My second song was supposed to be Celine Dion's A New Day has Come, but they skipped over it and went straight to my third choice, a Chinese song called 我的歌声里, In My Song. My mistake was deciding on that song last minute and learning the lyrics the night before. Shameful to say, I mumble and hum through forty percent. Luckily, I'm able to make up for it with the strong, easy chorus parts. The Russian guy sings his songs, and just as quickly as it all began, we're finished and each 500 yuan richer. My two firsts might not have been ultimate successes, but here's hoping for second chances!